A Day In The Life Of Lenny & Squiggy
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: The title pretty much says everything!


** A Day In The Life Of Lenny & Squiggy **

**One**   
Lenny and Squiggy's apartment, morning 

The boys are still sleeping - Squiggy is on the bottom bunk and Lenny is on the top bunk. Their alarm clock is sitting on a nightstand half way across the room. The alarm clock goes off. 

Squiggy shot straight up. "Huh... wha... who...?!" 

Lenny looked down at him. "Squig, it's the clock! The huns ain't attackin'!" 

Squiggy let out a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, the alarm is still sounding. Lenny jumped off his bunk, went over, picked up the clock, carried it to the dumb-waiter, and dropped it in. 

"Now, it's the girls' problem!" Lenny said, giggling. 

They each picked up a pile of clothes and headed towards the bathroom, but they got stuck in the doorway. 

"Odds," Squiggy said. 

"Evens," Lenny said. 

They shot fingers and Squiggy won. He walked proudly into the bathroom. Lenny dropped his stuff on Squiggy's bunk and headed for the fridge. He opened the door and practically stuck his whole head in, looking for something. He took out a bowl with cereal and a spoon already in it. 

"I love left-overs," Lenny said to himself as he sat down at the table and started eating. 

There's a knock at the door. 

"Fellas!" 

Lenny got up and opened the door. Laverne stood there holding the alarm clock. 

"Cute... really cute... " Laverne said. 

"Awe, thank you," Lenny teased. 

"Here, take your stupid clock... and if ya drop it down the dumb-waiter again, I'm gonna cram it up your nose!" Laverne said, turned, and went down the stairs. 

Lenny looked at the clock. "That ain't gonna fit up my nose!" 

Squiggy came out of the bathroom. He looked at the clock. "What'd it do, come back up by isself?" 

Lenny put the clock on the table. "No, Laverne brought it up... then threatened to cram it up my nose if we throw it down the mine-shaft again, but that ain't gonna fit." 

"It'll fit if she crams it down your throat!" Squiggy said, then laughed. 

Lenny glared at him as he headed towards the bathroomand slammed the door behind him. 

Squiggy picked up the clock, set off the alarm, and threw it down the dumb-waiter. "Why don't we just find out... " he said to himself. 

A few minutes passed and there was another knock at the door. 

"Boys!" 

Squiggy opened the door. Shirley was standing there, holding the clock. 

"I believe this is yours... oh, and, by the way, Laverne was gonna come up here to do something to you with the clock, but I talked her out of it..." Shirley said. 

Squiggy had a disappointed look on his face as he looked at the clock. "Now, I'll never find out if this would fit down Lenny's throat!" 

Shirley laughed. "That's not where Laverne said she was gonna put it!" She turned and went down the stairs. 

Squiggy closed the door, sat at the table, and started eating from the bowl that Lenny got from the fridge. 

Lenny came out of the bathroom and looked at Squiggy. 

"Are you eatin' my breakfast?" Lenny asked. 

Squiggy looked at the bowl. "It don't have your name on it!" 

Lenny went over to him, picked up the bowl, and turned it over, dumping out the rest of the cereal. He pointed to the bottom of the bowl. "Right there!" 

Squiggy looked at it, then sat back in his chair. 

"How'd you do that?" 

   
**Two**   
Shotz Brewery breakroom, mid-morning 

The boys have just gotten back from a delivery and are sitting at the girls' usual table. They're playing "Go Fish!". 

"Got 'ny two's?" Lenny asked. 

"Go fish!" Squiggy said. 

A pretty girl walked by and the boys freak. Lenny bit his palm and Squiggy puckered up. The boys calm down and shake hands. 

Laverne and Shirley came into the breakroom and came up behind the boys - Laverne behind Lenny and Shirley behind Squiggy. 

"What do you think you're doin'?" Shirley asked. 

"Yeah, this is our table!" Laverne reminded them. 

"So, we was here first!" Squiggy said. 

"Yeah!" Lenny agreed. 

Laverne glared at Lenny. "I wish I had that alarm clock..." 

"Uh, Squig, why don't we let the girls have their table, huh?" Lenny asked. 

"Oh, all right. Give in to a threat... a clock up the nose couldn't be that bad... " Squiggy said. 

The boys got up and the girls sat. The boys went to the door. 

"One-a these days we're gonna stand up to those girls!" Squiggy said and left. 

Lenny looked down and said, going out the door, "I thought we were standin'?" 

  
**Three**   
the Pizza Bowl, late morning 

The boys come in arguing about something. Lenny is carrying his "LONE WOLF" jacket. 

"Don't you remember nothin', Squig! Laverne sewed that "L" on!" Lenny said. 

"Yeah, because she's got the hots for ya!" Squiggy teased. 

Lenny got frustrated. He put the jacket on and sat at the new game that Mr. DeFazio put in. It was a strength tester. 

Squiggy came up behind him. "I bet you can't even get cat on that thing!" 

Lenny thought about it. "Okay, I accept if you gimme the nickel for it." 

Squiggy dug around in his pockets and finally, after nearly emptying his pockets, he found a nickel. 

"Here." He gave it to Lenny. 

Lenny put the nickel in and grabbed the joystick. 

The meter fluctuated between mouse, which came before cat and 10-year-old boy, which came after cat. It finally stopped a little after 10-year-old boy. "Ha! I won!" 

"You won nothin'! I didn't betcha nothin'!" Squiggy said, laughing. 

Lenny got up and pushed Squiggy into the chair. "Let's see how you do! An' if ya get higher than me, I'll buy the pizza, if ya don't, you buy. Deal?" 

"Oh, all right," Squiggy said, unethused. He dug around for another nickel. He found one, put it in, and grabbed the joystick. The meter fluctuated between fish, which was just before mouse, and cat. Squiggy tightened his grip, but the meter leveled out to cat. 

"HA!" Lenny said, pointing at Squiggy. "I knew it!" 

Squiggy got up. "That thing don't measure right!" 

"Excuses, excuses," Lenny said. 

The two sat down at a nearby table. 

"C'mon, Squig, you're payin'!" Lenny reminded him. 

Squiggy grumbled something, got up, and went to order the pizza. 

A minute later, Fonzie came in with a date and a double date, his sister Jo, who didn't look too happy and her date. The four sit at the table next to the boys' table. 

Lenny starts drumming his fingers on the table, while waiting for Squiggy to get the pizza and bring it back. 

At the next table, Jo makes a comment to Fonzie. 

"Turn on the jukebox... I can't stand that tapping!" Jo whispered. 

Neither of them noticed that it was Lenny at the next table who was doing the tapping. 

Fonzie got up and went over to the jukebox. He pounded his fist on it and it started playing "Shake, Rattle and Roll". Fonzie went back over to his table and sat. 

Squiggy came with the pizza and he and Lenny started eating. 

"Uh, Squig, you forgot the napkins," Lenny said. "Never mind, I'll get 'em." He got up and went behind Fonzie and Jo's table without seeing then. He grabbed about ten napkins, turned around, and saw Jo with another guy and Fonzie and his date. He came up behind Jo and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned quickly. 

"Lenny!?" Jo said, surprised. 

"Yeah," Lenny said. He couldn't think of anything else to say - his brain hurt too much. 

"Jo's datin' a doctor - Dr. Ned Sterns," Fonzie said, happily. 

The doctor smiled and Jo frowned. She looked down at the table. 

"Oh," Lenny said. "Well, see ya." He went back to his table and sat. 

Squiggy looked at him. "What's wit' you?" 

"Nothin'." 

"Nothin'?" 

"Yeah, nothin'," Lenny said, got up and left. 

Squiggy stayed and finished the pizza. 

  
**Four**   
the boys' apartment, early afternoon 

Lenny came in and sat on Squiggy's bunk. 

The phone rang. 

Lenny picked up the receiver. "Hello?" 

"Hi, remember me?!" 

Lenny thought for about two seconds. "Lauren!" 

"You remembered!" 

"Yeah..." Lenny paused. "What's up?" 

"Actually, not much..." Lauren sighed. 

"Same here." 

Suddenly, the door flew open and Squiggy came in. 

"Hello!" Squiggy said. "Who ya talkin' to?" 

"Sounds like Squiggy just came in the room," Lauren said. "Maybe I'll call back later..." 

"No, I wanna talk..." Lenny said. 

"Who ya talkin' to?" Squiggy repeated. 

Lenny put his hand over the mouthpiece. "Lauren. Remember, your step-sister?" 

"Oh, yeah, how is the little runt?" Squiggy asked. 

Lenny took his hand off the mouthpiece. "Did ya hear that?" 

"Yes... tell Squiggy that he's a jerk. I'll call ya back later. Bye," Lauren said and hung up. 

Lenny hung up the phone. "Jerk," he said, relaying it for Lauren. 

Squiggy made a face. "Was that from Lauren... or you?" 

"Both of us!"   


**Five**   
Laverne and Shirley's apartment, afternoon 

The girls come in. 

"I wonder how the labeling machine got jammed?" Shirley asked. 

"I dunno, but atleast we got off work!" Laverne said, cheerfully. 

Shirley frowned. "Yeah, but we don't get paid. If we don't get paid, we'll end up doin' God-knows-what..." 

Laverne stopped Shirley. "I don't need to hear this. We've got no jobs and no money." She started towards the kitchen. When she got there, she opened the fridge door. "Ants eat better than we do..." 

Their door flew open. 

"Hello!" Squiggy said, coming in. He took a seat on their couch. 

Lenny stayed in the doorway. 

"Not now, boys. C'mon, we've got a big problem..." Shirley started. 

"Yeah, and we don't need you two addin' to it!" Laverne said. 

"Wait a second, we just came to visit. Can't we do that?" Squiggy asked. 

The girls looked at each other. "No!" They went over to Squiggy and started pushing him towards the door. Finally, they got him out. They looked at Lenny, then looked at each other again. 

"Uh, Len?" Laverne said. "Is there somethin' goin' on that we don't wanna know about?" 

Shirley hit her on the arm 

"No... well, kinda. You remember that guy, Ned Sterns?" Lenny asked. 

The girls waited for him to continue. Nothing. "Yes," they answered in unison, impatiently. 

Lenny continued, "Well, I saw him with Jo at the Pizza Bowl..." 

"And you're jealous because you wanna be with her," Laverne said. 

"No, I'm happy for her. The problem is is that she didn't look too happy, but Fonzie was beaming," Lenny said. 

"I'll bet Fonzie set her up with him... Hey, Shirl, was that the guy that..." Laverne said. 

Shirley glared at her. "Don't even!..." 

The girls started fighting. 

"Girls," Lenny said. "Girls!" He went over to them and tried to break them up. 

The door flew open and Jo stood at the doorway. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" 

The girls stopped fighting and Lenny landed on the floor. 

"You could earn money if you had people pay you two to watch you fight," Jo said and came in. 

"That's it!" Laverne said. 

"No," Shirley said. "So, what brings you here? Fonzie being a pain again?" 

"Yes and no," Jo answered. She went past the three of them and sat on the couch. "The thing is, I'm dating one guy, but I can't stand him. I like another guy, but Fonzie can't stand him." 

"Who?" the girls asked in unison. 

"Him," Jo said, pointing at Lenny. 

  
**Six**   
late afternoon 

The girls are sitting at their kitchen table, searching through the newspaper. 

"We've got to find a job until they fix the labeling machine," Shirley said, getting frustrated. 

"We'll find somethin'... we did talk Lenny and Jo into helpin' us look, didn't we?" Laverne said, taking Shirley's portion of the newspaper. 

"Yeah... I'm just worried... I can't help it," Shirley said, crossing her arms. 

Laverne sighed. "Well, it's a toss-up, either waitresses or taxi-dancers... of course we could sell plants door-to-door again!?" 

Shirley made a look of disgust. "Waitresses... that way the customers aren't as greasy..." 

"Hello!" Squiggy said, barging in. He walked across the room. "Whatcha doin'?" 

"Lookin' for jobs until Shotz fixes the labeling machine," Laverne answered, hoping Squiggy would leave. 

He didn't. Squiggy took a seat at the kitchen table with them. He looked confused. 

"What're ya doin' here?" Laverne asked. 

"It's the strangest thing - I went out to get the mail - I come back and the apartment door's locked an' I didn't lock it," Squiggy answered. "An' I don't got a key." 

The girls looked at each other. 

"You must've locked yourself out..." Shirley started. 

"Maybe Lenny locked me out. I'm gonna call," Squiggy said, beginning to get up. 

Laverne sat him down. "Lenny and Jo are out helping us find jobs!" She thought for a moment and came up with a blank look. "Call!" She gave Squiggy a shove. 

He staggered and tripped over to the couch, straightened out, and got to the phone. Squiggy dialed the number, listened, then hung up. "It's busy." 

  
**Seven**   
outside the boys' apartment 

Squiggy, Laverne, and Shirley come running up the stairs and start pounding on the door. A few seconds later the door opens. 

"What's goin' on?" Lenny asked. 

"I thought you and Jo were out helpin' us," Laverne said. She pushed past him, into the room, looking around. 

Shirley and Squiggy stood at the door, glaring at Lenny. 

He turned away from them and went up to Laverne. "Jo's out helpin' ya." 

"Huh?" Laverne said, confused. 

"After we left your apartment, I realized that I didn't have my key. So, I told Jo to wait on the stoop. I came up here, got my key, and I was gonna leave when the phone rang. I was talkin' to Lauren so I yelled out the window to Jo to go on without me..." Lenny said. 

Laverne stopped him. "Why didn't ya tell Lauren to call back later?" 

"This was later," Lenny said. 

"What?" Laverne said, even more confused. 

"She called earlier an' I told her to call back later - this was later," Lenny said. 

"Hey, girls!?" Jo yelled from down stairs. 

Shirley turned and went down the stairs. 

Squiggy came in the room and closed the door behind him. 

"I thought ya wanted to go with Jo, instead ya stayed to talk to Lauren... I'm glad I'm not a part of this," Laverne said. She shook her head, still very confused. 

"You was," Squiggy said. 

Laverne glared at him. "Shut up!" She turned and went to the door. "I'm leaving before I get 'ny more confused." 

Squiggy waved at her as she slammed the door behind her. 

Lenny sat on Squiggy's bunk. "What was that about?" 

"How can I put this gently?..." Squiggy said. He paused, "One word: vodey-yo-doe." 

"That ain't one word... Hey!" Lenny said. He jumped up and went after Squiggy. 

  
**Eight**   
the girls' apartment, early evening 

Laverne, Shirley, Lenny, and Squiggy are all sitting on the couch. 

"What did Jo say this was about?" Laverne asked. 

"All she said was for the four of us to meet her here," Shirley answered. 

The door flew open and Fonzie stormed in, but still cool. Jo was behind him, trying to hold him back. 

"You!" Fonzie said, and pointed at Lenny. 

Lenny gulped. "Me?" He began trying to hide behind Squiggy. 

"Fonzie, knock it off!" Jo demanded. "I need to say something. First of all, I don't like that Ned Sterns guy and I don't care if he IS a doctor. That doesn't matter. And second, me and Lenny are friends and there's no reason for you to want to pound him!" 

Fonzie looked Jo in the eye. "Who said I wanted to pound him... I just want you to be happy." 

"Thank you..." Jo started. 

Fonzie started towards the door. 

"Where're you going?" Jo asked. 

"There's five girls waiting for me at Inspiration Point and I don't wanna disappoint them," Fonzie said and left. 

Jo turned back to the four on the couch. 

"Boy, this has been some day," Shirley said, got up, and went into the bedroom. 

Laverne got up to follow her, but stopped next to Jo. "We don't mind ya stayin', just make sure that these two don't hang around if you leave!" 

Jo smiled and Laverne went into the bedroom. 

"Well, this has been fun... I'll be goin' now," Squiggy said, got up, and left. 

Jo looked at Lenny, who was looking at the floor. 

She sat on the couch next to him. 

"Just friends?" Lenny asked. 

"No, not JUST friends..." Jo started. 

Lenny looked at her and grinned. 

"...Best friends," Jo finished. "Besides, I thought you liked Lauren?" 

"Yeah, but I don't see her," Lenny said. 

"You'll live - you have before. Why don'tcha go up to your apartment, huh?" Jo suggested. 

"Okay."   


**Nine**   
the boys' apartment, night 

Squiggy is coming out of the bathroom and Lenny is already in bed, staring at the ceiling. Squiggy goes over to the bunks. 

"What's wit' you?" Squiggy asked. 

"I dunno - I just have a feelin' that tomorrow ain't gonna be much different than today," Lenny answered. 

"What'd ya mean?" 

"Tomorrow mornin' we'll be throwin' that dumb clock down the mine-shaft again!"   
  
THE END :)~


End file.
